Thoughts On Christmas

Christmas is almost upon us and, like every year, I feel myself getting more and more depressed as we get closer to the holiday.

I have fond memories of Christmas as a child. Unfortunately, most of those memories consist of presents I got or ways us altar boys used to goof off during the Christmas Eve mass without getting in trouble. The family dinners, the traditions and rituals that were performed have faded and I can barely remember them now. Some of them, I have forgotten completely.

These days, I don't really get presents anymore (mostly because I specify that I don't want any) and I haven't been an altar boy for a really long time, so I feel as though there is nothing special about the holiday for me anymore.

Don't get me wrong. There are good things about Christmas. This year, in particular, since it'll be the first time that I will have the children on Christmas Day in four years. This means, that I'll actually be able to see them open their presents from Santa early that morning and since I have them for the week prior, I get to watch the anticipation build as we get closer tothe big day.

But, if it weren't for the kids, I wouldn't even bother celebrating. I just don't see the point.

As an atheist, the religious aspect means absolutely nothing to me. I hate gift shopping, mostly because I'm horrible at figuring out what people want, and I usually get the polite but unenthusiastic "Oh, thanks. It's really...nice." Or even worse, "It's the thought that counts." Some people tell me Christmas is about spending time with loved ones, and I'll agree that this is important, but why do we need a day to spend with our loved ones? If we love them, do we need an excuse to spend time with them?

I could also go on and on about the whole commercialization of the holiday, and how it's lost it's true meaning, but I think that argument has been done to death, and we all know this is happening. You don't need me to tell you.

So why do I get depressed on Christmas?

Honestly, I don't know.

It could be that subconsciously I'm jealous at how others enjoy the holiday regardless of their religious beliefs and for some reason I seem unable to.

Maybe it's because I'm old and grumpy and look to find fault with everything and am just simpy unable to enjoy anything.

Maybe it's because my first marriage ended at Christmas time in 2005.

Maybe it's all these things rolled into one.

The fact remains, I don't like Christmas. Yet, there's a Christmas tree in my living room right now, and I did, in fact, help assemble it and decorate it. When people wish me a merry Christmas, I don't bitch them out and tell them I hate it (even though it's no secret). I simply wish them the same and be on my way. I will participate in family gatherings, and I'm sure a good time will be had by all, myself included--not because it's Christmas, but because family gatherings can be fun.

So, what's the point of all this? Nothing. I'm just rambling, because it's almost Christmas and all around me people are talking about it and getting excited and I just thought I'd throw in my two cents on the subject.

Cheers,

Joe

Why I Don't Believe in God

Once again, it has been quite some time since I've posted on here. Life has been busy with a few crises happening and a few writing projects I've been working on. Not to mention I had a mishap with my laptop, and it was a struggle getting back the stories I had on there (me being the idiot I am didn't bother to back up any of my work). Thankfully, pretty much everything has been salvaged with the exception of one short I had started but didn't get very far into, two chapters of a horror novel and two chapters of a YA fantasy. The YA work I'm not concerned about since I have three chapters that survived in long-hand and I believe I can come fairly close to re-creating the two lost chapters, so I think I'm sitting pretty good.

Anyway, on to the task at hand. As per the title of this blog, I am an atheist, and I have been for a few years now. Realistically, I would say I've been one for the past five years.

There have been times during that five years when I've described myself as a christian, but this was more wishful thinking than anything. At that time, and even still today, I would like nothing more than for there to be a god who loves us and looks out for us, but I just can't resign myself to that belief for a few reasons:

1. The world makes more sense without God.

I say this because the world around me doesn't seem to make sense if God does exist. Good people suffer while bad people prosper. Children suffer and die every day. Some people who are Christians seem to be doing well for themselves, others aren't. Why is this? If God is blessing some christians, why not others? Why does it seem as though God blesses people who aren't christian? Or thos who claim to be but obviously aren't based on their actions? These are questions I have asked myself and others throughout my time in the christian church and never recieved an answer beyond "God works in mysterious ways." That cop-out answer just isn't good enough for me.

2. Christians bug me.

Now, the reason I say this is because I spent a long time as a member of a christian church, which I attended with my wife and family. I had made many friends in this church. Some of them I considered to be like family. I even spent time in their homes, and they in mine. We often went for coffee to discuss the bible, God, or just life in general. I thought I had good friends.

But then, something happened. My wife left me (please note: she left me. I did my best to reconcile the marriage, which is what the bible says to do, she is the one who ended it, and she is the one who refused to even attempt a reconciliation). Not only did she leave me, but she also decided to rake my name through the mud and start spreading untrue rumors of horrible things I did to her. She made me out to be a monster.

So, these christian friends of mine, what did they do? They chose to believe her, and I suddenly I was left alone and without friends.

Okay, to be fair, there were two who chose to still talk to me, but I always felt they were doing it because they felt obligated and not because they didn't believe the lies that were being spread about me.

So what does this tell me? The people in that church were more willing to believe someone who was lying to them (go figure!) than to realize that based on what they knew of me, I wouldn't be capable of such horrific things, and that, even if they were true, the whole philosophy of love the sinner, hate the sin, went right out the window. I was alone and in need of a friend, but all those christians whom I had thought were my friends for a few years, had deserted me.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. I've heard it before. People have told me, "You can't base that one incident to judge an entire group of people."

I agree with that %100. However, this isn't an isolated incident. I know more than a few people who've had similar experiences with the christian church, and I've had other experiences with different churches that have done the same thing.

The one conclusion that I've come to through all this is if God is real, why don't his followers practice his teachings? Since they don't, he seems to be doing absolutely nothing about the fact that his followers seem to be continuously giving him a bad name, I can draw no other conclusion that he doesn't exist.

3. There is evidence for atheism

Recently, I've discovered videos on YouTube psoted by a gentleman known only to me by his username, profMTH. If you haven't watched his videos, I highly recommend you do. They are very intelligent, well thought out, and well presented. This man spent many years in the Catholic church until he came to atheism three years ago. Since then, he's been posting videos on YouTube in support of atheism, and I can find no argument to refute the evidence in support of his claims. He uses biblical references to support his arguments, and is able to refute just about any claim that God exists or that the bible has any validity whatsoever. Once again, if you haven't watched these videos, I recommend that you do. He is funny as well as informative and I look forward to each new video he puts out.

4. Biblical contradictions.

Yes, at one point in my life I believed that the bible was the word of God, and that there weren't any contradictions. However, I now realize how wrong I was. If you don't believe me, I point you once again to profMTH and his ten video series entitled "Brief Bible Blunders." They are not only funny, but they bring up contradictions in the bible that seem to me to be unreconcilable. The contradictions are there, despite many pathetic attempts by christians to explain them away.

5. God isn't so great.

Even if the bible were true, this does not look good on God for many reasons:

-The bible condones slavery: Leviticus 25:44-46 (New International Version)
"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly."

-The bible promotes sexism: Genesis 3:16 (New International Version)
"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

-The bible promotes homophobia: Romans 1:26-27 (New International Version)
"Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. "

-God describes himself as being jealous: Exodus 20:5-6 (New International Version)
"You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. "

This wouldn't bother me so much, except later on in 1 Corinthians 13:4 (New International Version) we read:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

I'm sorry, but to me this means: "God does not love you." If God is jealous but to love someone means to not mbe envious (which is the same as jealousy), what other conclusion can one come to?

All I want to show with this is, even if the bible is true, who would want to worship a god like this? Not to mention the book of Job, in which God allows one of his servants to suffer some of the most horrific things that can befall a human being (loss of livelihood, children, health) just to prove a point to the devil. God of love? I don't think so.

And that, my friends, is why I choose not to believe in God. If anyone would like to comment, I am open to discussions on this topic.

Thanks for reading,

Joe