Okay, as of yesterday, I am now one year older. I turned 29 and every year on my birthday, it becomes a time of reflection on what I have not accomplished with my life. I don't so this intentionally, it's just how it goes.
I had made a deal with myself two years ago that I would be published by the time I'm 30. I first began writing when I was very young and just learning how to write. I started sending stuff to be published when I was 15. Of course, by the age of 17 I was a cocaine addict and remained one until the age of 27. So there's ten years of writing nothing but shit under the influence of drugs. Which I hope is what accounted for the fact that everything I wrote was complete drivel.
Now that I am clean, going on 2 years, my output has been a lot better. I have a few stories currently being considered with different magazines and I am currently working on at least a few others. Plus, I am still working on my novel Hatred, but because of these stories, production on the book has been delayed temporarily.
There are a few other things going on in my life right now. One of them I am not allowed to say yet. But I will hopefully be able to tell everyone within a week or so.
But, the one bit of news I can tell you, is that so far, it looks like I'm going to be at CONtext this year. Writers such as Christopher Golden and Gary Braunbeck will be there, and I am stoked. This will be a good year for sure.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll be back in a day or two with a rant, because this is a good way to get my frustrations out.
Cheers,
Joe
Review: Vanishing Daughters by Cynthia Pelayo
4 weeks ago
1 comment:
I do the same thing each year on my birthday, by default. I've been a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails for years, and there's a snip of song that comes back to me:
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
"Right Where It Belongs" has become one of the most important songs of my life because of that verse. It's not that I won't slip up, because I'm human and we all do from time to time. It's that I know each time I wake up or go to bed, and I catch myself in the mirror, that question comes back: Is that all you want to be? Can I look into my reflection and accept the truth, and not be afraid by it?
Each time I'm on the verge of a slip, or putting off a deadline, or a personal goal, those words tend to creep back to me like old ghosts.
Keep it going Joseph. You'll get there. And though your goal was 30, if it's still a goal, don't ever stop, because you and I both know, if that's truly what you want, it's one of the only things that will truly make you feel whole and complete.
Congratulations on making it around the sun one more year. Happy belated birthday, m' friend... and keep putting one word after the other.
bob
Post a Comment